Playing Nice...?

"And you had BETTER play nice"

How many times has this command been directed at each of us in our lifetime...and how many times have we imposed this impossible expectation on those to whom we are closest?

As a mom-I say this ALL the time. My son (especially) and my daughter (often) do NOT play nice...not with each other, not with my husband and I, and sometimes not with other people's kids...or um...ANYONE-it seems.

My son does not share well...unless it is completely of his own accord and in these cases he is actually (tearing up) VERY sweet and thoughtful...(to be continued...)HOWEVER-if he is forced to share (that doesn't sound right)against his will-for example, another child takes something he is playing with or his sister has something that belongs to him...LOOK OUT-for the wrath of my reactive Little Johnny (SO NOT his name-so no worries). His wrath, which includes, but is not limited to: screaming and hitting, biting, kicking, swearing to loathe the other individual for all eternity)is not reserved for the occasion when he is put upon to share. Let's call it JW for Johnny's wrath-and JW can be unleashed at the drop of the hat (and by drop of the hat I mean primarily when I am on the phone with my boss-sad but true). JW comes out when Little Johnny can't get to the next level on his Wii game, when he gets in trouble, when his Little Sister does anything he doesn't like (as you can probably imagine-this occurs numerous times daily)...you name it. He actually has a bit of a unique situation that makes his explosiveness easier to understand, but not any easier to live with. On a good day, he can "play nice" for 80% of the day, maybe 85%...I think that is pretty typical for kids in general. Those days however, are few and far between...maybe one in seven.

Back to the lloonngg drawn out point-My son does not play nice. if given a choice...heehee...

On to the three year old and her limited understanding of preschooler etiquette (Does Emily Post do board books?)...My daughter is very sweet MOSTLY- but she has hit her tiresome threes in stride...so she instigates her brother (other than THAT she is extremely bright ;0) )...she also has my flair for the dramatic and her vocabulary consists mostly of "no, never and forever"...She (let's call her Tiny June) is more of a trouble maker. Outside of her instigating, she gets into ALL of my stuff. Sadly there is a lot of tempting girlie items to entice Little June...so on a daily basis, she is using my pink shampoo on her dry hair at the sink...getting into mommy's powder glitter liners and sampling the plethora of lip glosses, lotions and potions beckoning to her from my bedroom and every bathroom...Not fair really-like leaving safety pins and metal nail files around for a cutter...(sorry-bad analogy)...Little Judy also-"Does Not Play Well With Others"-she just adds her own flair to the label...maybe she will have a career in fashion at least...teehee

Blah, blah, blah- Time to be brief...Shmoops and I are both emotional and vocal and a bit dramatic. If a day passes that we do not have a some sort of trivial, yet somewhat unpleasant verbal exchange-it is only because he left the house before I woke up and I went to bed before he got home...Otherwise he surprised me with jewelry or other shiny distraction. So I suppose we may not always set the GREATEST example for the munchkins...I am sure we are not the ONLY flawed, human parents...teehee...Although our friends would have you believe they are the Cosby's...or Stepfords-take your pick.

Under closer scrutiny, I think that as we all get older and more set in our ways-After we have had more years to perfect our idiosyncrasies and to fully develop our narcissism...we actually become less capable or willing to see past or to deal with the things we deem as shortcomings in those around us. Be it our spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend,children, friends, siblings, parents, colleagues, neighbors-baristas...let's face it-the more moments we have spent on this conflict fraught earth-the less likely most of us are to take the abandoned, selfless high road. And-if we ALL feel this way...the ongoing battles of day to day life become increasingly more explicable and predictable...and well...hopeless...

Most days begin with a fresh perspective and a morning full of ideals. At that glistening moment after the first french vanilla'd and splenda'd to perfection cup of coffee- before reality sets in, living the golden rule seems completely accessible. Just a bit later, after Shmoops and I have bickered over who is preparing the Bagels. Little Johnny has melted down because he has decided he prefers Fruity Pebbles after the bagel is already toasted,schmeared and on the table. Tiny June has successfully emptied my latest cosmetic purchase on the new rug and the Puggle is in the backyard verbally harassing and equally offending all the neighbors within a five mile radius. At the moment that I have both the Monkeys dressed, coiffed and coated and we are hustling out the door for the second time in two minutes (I forgot the keys), the phone rings and it is a solicitor...

Playing nice is no longer in my repertoire...Did I mention that it is only ten a.m.?

At long last, there it is-my point!

"Playing Well With Others", is it a rule we have been oppressed by and as a result inflict on others? Or...something to aspire to...if we didn't have utopia as an ultimate (although impossible) goal...imagine where we would be then...Never mind...you need your sleep.