Getting Over Myself

So as I mentioned before, my family had a wedding reception to attend on New Years Eve. Seems lately as though everything takes more effort than it should. Packing in particular, I avoid like the plague...(let's say bubonic- cause it is the only one I know by name).Does not matter how far in advance I know about a trip and begin the packing process...I inevitably am up all night before a trip-choosing accessories and bagging liquids. Due to the fact that this was an overnight trip and was nestled between holidays...I successfully procrastinated until the last possible second...

Wednesday morning was insane. I was attempting to tie up some last minute work things...feed and dress my Little Monkeys...did I mention that I am utterly Domestically Challenged...and completely disorganized? On top of that, I have been ripping my currently uncoifed hair out trying to get my email synced on my new I Phone. The IT Department at Apple, nor the IT Boy at the office seem to know the dealie-o...so now I have no Blackberry...and essentially no I Phone...I am beginning to lose my calm collection. Oh also-my nearly three year old daughter is nearly potty trained...but piddled on the rug and my five year old son was melting down because he wanted me to get off the phone with Apple and call his Daddy to find out how to achieve the next level on Batman Legos for Wii. So my morning is frantic and exasperating, and Shmoops (My Husband) comes home at the tail end of this. It is nearly one o'clock and we are all still in our pajamas and not yet packed...I will spare you any predictable morsels from that interaction...

Okay- so that is the back story. In another hour we are all thrown together and in the car for an hour and a half trip-...equipped with happy meals and v-smiles...on the way to the hotel where the reception is to be held. We promised the kids pool time-so we get there...rush out of our clothes, into our suits, back to the room-into out wedding-wear and down for the festivities...Needless to say that after sitting through speeches, pictures and a wedding video-waiting for our turn at the taco bar and a few stereo typical wedding dances...my five and three year old were fried and ready to head back to the room (that was after the cupcakes of course)...Here is where I begin to feel a bit self absorbed.

Call me Crazy (I like it and will answer back...No, REALLY!)- but I actually adore dancing at weddings. Because of its silly, over the top-devil may care abandon and the Electric Slide (I said it!)...I rarely miss a beat-at least, that is how I see it! Teehee...Anyway, Shmoops "doesn't know how to put the kids to bed" (meaning they prefer me..Of course they do. Teehee...)...so he claims. I guess I have been a bit of an enabler in that department...but he uses that as a crutch as well. There it is- our friends, family and my Husband are downstairs welcoming in the wee hours of 2009 with cheezy dj commentary, silly hats and lots of holiday elixir- I am pouting because I was sent up at 9:30...and spent the next two hours trying to get the Munchkins to stop battling and giggling and go to sleep. Sometime shortly before midnight, I am sandwiched on a full sized hotel room bed between my son and daughter sleeping restlessly. I had long since surrendered trying to watch the Phantom of the Opera (with Gerard Butler-HUGE sacrifice)...because the Babies felt the need to watch with me and give the witty and profound criticism possessed only by Toddlers and Preschoolers. My second complimentary beverage untouched on the nightstand. Shmoops staggered clumsily in sometime around 2 a.m.

After a short night's sleep-kids are up at 7:45...and of course my husband rolls over and goes back to sleep. After my daughter and I take a bath and I get us both and my son dressed...Shmoops has the audacity to lumber out of bed and throw on a hat and scold and scowl at me for not being ready to go down to breakfast...Let me throw in that after we drive home...he proceeds to lay down on the couch for a two hour snooze and when I get a moment to shut my eyes after getting my daughter down for a nap...he makes a rukus doing Lord knows what...and I get an unacceptable twenty five minutes of beauty rest-which at this point...I need DESPERATELY! It pretty much goes on like that...we get into a tiff later because he is miffed that our daughter opted to defecate on the bathroom floor, rather than the potty. This of course was on his clock and I refused to clean up...into every life a little doodie must fall...right?

FINALLY- I arrive at my point. I love my children very much and am feeling a bit guilty and self absorbed about mourning the loss of fun from the New Year's Eve (Just)Past. I intentionally zoned out during the recaps of the previous evenings' antics while bitterly choking down my Complimentary Continental Breakfast (sounds delicious, right?) Not happy with my reaction. I consider my Bebe's company a blessing and that should have been plenty for me. Admittedly, my funk is aimed at Shmoops because it often feels to me as if I make more personal sacrifices than he does. Another position I wallow in far too often and admit in spite of myself...Know it is not a contest.

Sorry, that is five minutes of your life you will never get back. I do appreciate the free therapy however.

Here is to being less Self Centered In the New Year...and maybe getting out a bit more as well!;0)