March 12, 2011

Mira Mira! Pretty People!!- A Fashionably Late Oscar Report

And the Oscar goes to...*drum roll* The Pretty Person whose name is written on the fancy red card in the glittery sealed envelop.

How long ago were the Oscars? Two weeks ago? Emily Post would say I have two more hush....

As a lover of all things that shimmer, I find the Academy Awards somewhat irresistible- sorta like rubber necking for ferrets ... Regardless, here are the highlights...First, I watched some of them with my friend Jen...and THAT is always a pleasure. Not only because she a brilliant ray of sunshine, but especially because if it weren't for her, I would never venture to the theater-to see anything. We have a semi-regular late night ritual where we sneak out like teenagers whilst our families sleep and catch a flick. Sadly, that is the closest I come to living life dangerously. That, and standing in the kitchen without a stitch. CAH-RAZY...I know...I can hardly believe it myself. Anyhoodle, went to Jen's to watch the Oscars.

Here is my take in a nutshell. I LOVED Hillary Swank's shimmered like diamonds, had fluffy feathers, and was the color of champagne...surprised she could leave her reflection to present. I DO think she is a great actress, even though she has a massive jaw...and will always be the single mom character that worked at the Peach Pit on 90210, and dated Steve Sanders. Of course that wasn't the only pretty dress, I also really liked the muted violet-hued dress Mila Kunis wore amongst others. Ohhhh and Anne Hathaway got to wear these killer stilettos that looked like a galaxy of radiant stars. They were to DIE for...if not to walk in. Other than that, I had only seen about half the movies that were nominated. Of course, the King's Speech tops my rental list when it releases to dvd. If you can resist the charm of Colin should be a Navy Seal or something...because you have an iron-clad resolve. So...even though I didn't see the movie, I am glad he won. And? I actually did see the Black Swan. Natalie Portman was tortured and flawless...and I am not talking about her ridiculous gorgeousness...Um...and in real life...she is also pregnant. What is she? 12??? Heehee...I know she's not, but I always think of her in Beautiful Girls (LOVES it), and she is practically a toddler in that. Anyway, she won best actress...gooooo Natalie. JT brought sexy and his mama to the Oscars. And while Anne Hathaway is funny, and smart...and utterly lovable? James Franco was unfunnily dry, and unimpressive. Got the feeling that his friends, if he has them...were at home ROLLING at his "witty-ness." But the rest of us...sorry I am speaking for everyone- just this once...again-weren't feeling it. In my humble opinion, the writers tried too hard to make it seem like the hosts weren't trying. So...shiny, pretty, giant toothpaste smiles, obligatory applause, fake laughter, shiny...f-bomb in an acceptance speech...OH! Alice in Wonderland won stuff (yippee) the end. At this point I stop to give thanks to the She-vo for allowing me to skip commercials and dull speeches...thus allowing me to view Oscars, the way that Sports Center allows peeps to view sports. Other than that, if you haven't seen Social Network- have someone help you out from underneath that rock of yours and get on it. It is snarky and comical.

Oh and the Jimmy Kimmel post-Oscar special was so much more entertaining than the ACTUAL show.

That is all. *Strutting away down the red carpet I had installed in my kitchen.*