Who Let The Wolves Out?

Warning: If you plan to see New Moon and have not? The following blog is soaked in spoilers...marinated to my own personal taste...You may want to hold off until after the movie, novel, or both...Then? Please, consume it raw...haha...okay...enough vampire references...for a second or two at least.

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Like gaggles of other Cullen-Cravers ranging in age from twelve to sixty two,and dieing to take a bite out of the latest installment of the Twilight Saga, I saw New Moon this past weekend. Of course the flick was proceeded by sushi, sake and screaming girls, of which-shockingly,I was not one. This is not to say-mind you,that once the theater got dark-I didn't gasp involuntarily. Nor will I swear that a suppressed squeal,or two might not have sneaked through my parted lips.I will neither confirm nor deny that a few throaty vamp growls broke loose from my throat...but this? ALL of this...is COMPLETELY appropriate behavior in a world where vamps have hair so fantastic that it puts 90's super models to shame. Where they slink and crouch around like Barishnikov in couture that fits like a sparkly diamond encrusted Italian glove designed by Versace. Oh...and the growling thing? Even more acceptable in the high temperature, shape shifting, volatile and impassioned world where wolves pounce, snarl and savor the flava of crimson eyed blood suckers with dreads...Oh!...And they can't be troubled with shirts as they are far too restrictive for their switchity-split,fast paced lifestyle. Welcome to Forks Washington, the cloud shrouded moss covered place where the mythical mingles with the locals and camouflages its magic with the mundane monotony of small town life.

The long and the short of it is...I entered the theater with a cherry coke and a cup half full of expectation (also a twinkly Twilight Saga tee and Cullen necklace that although unplanned,matched my friend Jen's). You see, New Moon is my least favorite of the four books in the Twilight Saga. This has very little(if anything)to do with the actual writing of the novel and volumes to do with what occurs, or doesn't occur between its covers. Where the sudden, fate driven, angst-ridden, forbidden and fiery, all-consuming "young"love of Edward and Bella take center stage in Twilight...-in New Moon, with the prick of a finger, the stumble of Bella, the snap of an arm, and the jump of a Jasper(the newest and least practiced"Vegetarian Vampire" in the Cullen family),the story takes a darkly, don't-bother-getting-out-of-bed anytime soon- dramatic turn for the depressing...With the words,

I promise that this will be the last time you’ll see me. I won’t come back. I won’t put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I’d never existed.
Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 3, p.71


Edward abandons Bella to grasp feebly at the mere vapor of what she had believed to be her destiny. She is left shrouded in a pain riddled, doubt evoking darkness without an escape plan, a Snuggie to warm her,or so much as a pen light,to illuminate her path tangled with brush. Still she stumbles ahead, blindly, in search of her Edward.


With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over. Love, life, meaning… over.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 3, p.73

When she finally allows the realization that Edward has gone and taken with him, her hope and her need for air, Bella lets the deep, suffocating, darkness engulf her.

The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 3, p.84


Edward has decided for Bella, that she is better off without him. Providing her with only a few cryptic clues of his plan the days proceeding his departure. He leaves her in a fetal heap of raw, broken pieces on the forest floor. This is where Sam Uley,(sorry but I expected him to be more commanding and ferocious in the film) who we later find out is the alpha dog in a pack of Native American shape shifting wolves...sweeps up her emotional remnants in his massive wolfy paws and lays her out cold and crazy on Charlie's couch. Now I am not sure if it is Edward's calloused delivery of his half cooked plan, his shortsighted lack of consideration for Bella who allegedly brought his cold-dead heart back to life, or his foolish notion that while he will carry this "burden" eternally,she is shallow enough to forget him when he takes her photos of him and of his family, a few material items and the CD of the song he wrote her. Regardless the reason,I spent the rest of New Moon cursing Edward as if it were me he left screaming out in torture in the dead of night, rather than Bella. So from this point forward, I read and viewed with a mammoth, pretend vampy chip on my shoulder. Because, HOW DARE HE???!!!!(BOO) Pretend Vamp-Charmings should be forced to behave as such.

Oh right! The movie. I loved it. The over all production quality was better than that of the first. Found the changing of the guard-or director, as it were, in Harry Potter-esque fashion- to be a wise move. Seemingly bringing a fresh perspective to each novel in the saga appears to be a positive. The film introduced the pack of wolves spiritedly.They are both menacing and playful,comforting in their refuge and disconcerting in the threat they pose to the Cullens-whom we still love in spite of ourselves.Taylor Lautner is perfectly cast as Jacob Black,his smile bright as the sunshine he brings to radiate its warmth through Bella's bleak barely there existence. He naturally embodies Jacob's charisma and warmheartedness handily taking on the role of Bella's best friend/wolfy,playful man child. (Whoop, whoop...quick shout out for the Team Jacob girls-to whom I identify, and with whom I hang, but of which I am not).There were some mumbled concerns that the barely legal Lautner would be able to show the physical transformation that Jacob begins in New Moon and continues through Breaking Dawn, but hand Taylor credit, because it is due. The audience never doubts Taylor as Jacob. In addition, Kristen Stewart does DESTROYED really well. I would go so far as to say that her performance in New Moon may have had more bite(pun completely intended) than her Twilight portrayal of Bella Swan. What little we see of Robert Pattinson as Edward and Ashley Greene as Alice... along with the mere glimpses we are permitted of the other Cullens-leave us appropriately, thirsty for more. I've read all of the books. Hang on...they're coming....finely threaded and juicy with surprises. So while it is not going to get a warm embrace from Oscar, New Moon is all that it promises to be; romantic, heart wrenching, thrilling and full of imaginary deliciousness.

My list of criticisms is short. With technology being what it is, I would have fathomed that the wolf transformation could have been more...say...um...Grinchish or Tolkien-esque (sorry don't do tons of sci-fi-horror) and by that, I mean..."believable"...and perhaps a bit less Never Ending Story or Land of the Lost (the original) quality in the technological department. Admittedly, I giggled a few times. Presumably,watching your friends shape shift into giant wolves, should be alarming and disconcerting and not so much laughable to an eye watering degree. That is an issue in the area of effects, not in the performance arena. Also in the effects department, the Volturi looked more to me like they should be doing the little Star Trek wave, than sweeping frightfully at light speed across the room to drain you of life. In the book the Volturi are lavish, regal and traditional, they strike fear but yet arouse your curiosity and fascination...They are vampire royalty and wrench your respect from you with their mere presence. I didn't so much get that. Aro was sort of wussy and that whole scene seemed rushed. Why bring in a name like Dakota Fanning and not give her time to bring the face of a cherub, grip of a demon-Jane to life? She IS capable of doing so. Finally, the ending? Have to reread...but I could have sworn that was an Eclipse thing. I am sure they had good reason for rushing that along, cliffhanging suspense perhaps? Again, these are creative decisions and I am being nit picky. None of these things, kept the movie from being a vamp-stravaganza, wolf-tacular success. New Moon the movie, successfully brought New moon the novel to living, breathing, bounding, venomous life in it's transference to the big screen.


In conclusion, since completing the saga, it has been my opinion that Bella is a bit too quick to forgive and forget. Crazy glue doesn't work on hearts. Still she is so utterly amazed by Edward's return that she just can't stop staring...understandably of course, but with the delivery of a few well-timed lines?

So I thought I’d explained it clearly before. Bella, I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist. (Edward)

and...

After all the thousand times I’ve told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me? (Edward)

also...

My heart hasn’t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone—like I was hollow. Like I’d left everything that was inside me here with you. (Edward)

Bella is all too willing to let the whole..."Edward shredded my soul and left me for stupid or dead" thing go. I am not sure how sound this is...How dare I question the realism of a vampire, wolf, ordinary girl love triangle?...Still, Edward vows:



I’ll earn your trust back somehow. It’s my final act. (Edward)

and how could you NOT let him at least TRY to make it up to you? No faulting Bella there, however, he should at the very least be in the naughty corner until book 3.

That is just my humble opinion...