What I Have Learned So Far

A few years have passed and we are all grownups (kind of) and have a few life experiences chalked up. I thought we could share things that we have learned up to this point. Have a bit of fun with it-no need to be too serious. You know, BALANCE-that thing we are all striving for...in our free time.

So here it goes, it is not quite as much as I would have hoped-but this is what I have learned so far.

1. I have learned that the older we get, the crazier we all become. You don’t get to this point without a little bit of mental and emotional baggage. If you have made it unscathed, you may not be doing it right and you probably didn't go to high school. That whole “nothing ventured, nothing gained” bit. There is a line in RENT I like where two young lovers meet and Roger tries to use his “baggage” as an excuse as to why he and Mimi should not be together. Her response is “Life’s too short babe, time is flyin’, I’m lookin’ for baggage that goes with mine.”
One more thought on this one. I strongly believe that the “normal” ones are to be feared.-or at least handled with extreme caution. Life is often unkind. We all should be watchful of those who have deeply repressed the tiny cuts and bruises that living incurs-buried those unpleasant feelings way down inside their souls. Those emotional fractures that heal when dealt with as they come, will fester and rot when ignored and denied. One day, someone is going to cut them off in traffic or look at them the wrong way in the line at Chipotle and they are going to erupt. Then all their emotional infection is going to bubble over the surface. You don’t want to be there when that happens.
2. That high school never ends. Those Bowling for Soup kids have a valid point. Although the combined scent of leather and Polo just don’t have the same effect on me that they once did. Oh- and I don’t spend nearly as much on hairspray. Scratch that, spend MORE on hairspray-just don’t go through a can a week… consider this as my effort to make it up to the Ozone.
3. I have learned and please don’t hold your breath-this is not at all original…that we are all flawed. Wait! There’s more. I read somewhere this theory that everyone you will come across will have three serious flaws. (I have more than three, but let’s go with that for now)…Your job is to decide when choosing those you allow to stand closest to you in your life. What three flaws you can live with-every day, forever and ever, amen. Keep in mind, that they must do the same. This only applies to the selection of your spouse and your friends. We all know that we don’t choose our family. They are entitled to our love by birthright and by the same right we are born into theirs. Bubblegum for thought, anyway…
4. I have learned that a little bit of imagination can turn an error into an opportunity; a problem into a solution, a flaw into character, restlessness into rediscovery, confusion into mystery, frustration into inspiration, infuriation (yeah I said infuriation-look it up. On second thought don’t) into intrigue. Imagination can transform a failure to an experience, clothes into an outfit and me into a Domestic Goddess. No sorry, not even imagination can successfully paint that picture! Got imagination? If not, do yourself (your friends, family, coworkers, spouse and especially your children) a favor and beg, borrow or steal some
5. I have learned that brevity is not my strong suit. If you are looking for a friend to keep it simple and give you a single, concise, black and white answer-don’t stop here. If however, you want to stay up all night pouring your heart out over some Cabernet and Counting Crows-I’m your girl. I can’t even do bulleted points properly. At those key moments when few words are best-I just shut my mouth tightly and shake my head yes. It is honestly easier for me to walk away than to bite my tongue.
6. I have learned that parenthood magnifies every single one of my insecurities and shortcomings. Think this is because every word and deed COUNTS when you are a parent. My children are the most precious earthly gifts I have ever received and I keep praying God doesn’t realize how unworthy I am of them.
7. I learned that “Handsome IS as Handsome DOES.” My mom has always said this and it is not a great saying-but the meaning is good. Think of all the pretty outside-ugly inside people you have come across in your life. True beauty comes from inside and never fades. That is a beauty I aspire to.
8. I have learned that laughing at oneself is a valuable asset and something I wish that I was better at.
9. I have learned firsthand that the most helpless feeling on earth is watching your child struggle. At those moments I am reminded of the power and comfort of prayer.
10. I learned the value of first kisses and first dances. First betrayals and first heartbreaks are all necessary so there can be first steps, first smiles and first words. If it had not been for all the goodbyes-we wouldn’t recognize forever when it walked in…or something.
11. I have learned that girls are often mean and hold grudges…but we feel deeper, laugh harder and give more. Not a terrible trade off.
12. I have learned that next to God our complexities are all vain pretense. That said. I have learned that my flair for the dramatic is both entertaining and exhausting to my friends and family and that although I am emotionally and intellectually needy-I despise these aspects of my character and refuse to ask for help.
13. I have learned that I need to be a better listener and a better student of life.
14. I have learned that God is much more capable than Scott Baio when it comes to being in charge of me. Sorry-it had to be done.
15. That I have control issues. Issues giving up control, taking control, maintaining control- you name it.
16. I learned that I have a hard time living in the moment. I look forward to things and then when they arrive, I dread their being over…don’t really get that part of myself. I guess I always want what I can’t have, even when I have it. That makes great sense! Admit it! heehee Makes no sense at all.
17. I have learned that “happily ever after” only refers to heaven because as human beings we are predisposed to messing things up with our insatiability.
18. I have learned that I care too much what people think and hate that I do.
19. I have learned that I am not as smart as I think I am, but I am not as dumb as I think I am either.
20. I have learned that nature and nurture are so closely related that sometimes you can’t tell them apart. In the end though, we are responsible for our own actions.
21. I have learned that my inherited family loves me as much as my birth family and may know me better.
22. I have learned that I allow for things in others that I do not permit in myself and vice versa.
23. I have learned that attending a New Kids concert today, is like being sprinkled with pixie dust and entering the gates of Never land. Don’t ask me to explain it-it defies logic…guess we have that in common;0).
24. I have learned that the Golden Rule pretty much never fails…along with the rest of it of course.
25. I have learned that considering the time I have spent here thus far, I haven’t learned nearly enough.

Share your lessons with me.